Sunday, December 13, 2015

Days 4-10 of Chemotherapy

Day 4

Today was just not a good day.  I didn't feel too terrible (other than just tired and flu-ish), but emotionally I was a WRECK.  I feel like I look terrible, as my skin has broken out all over my face, neck, chest, and back; I feel like I'm a teenager again, without the unlimited energy!  I went to work for a few hours, and I was almost paranoid to get out in public.  Just driving through traffic I felt like there were all these big, scary germs everywhere, waiting to attack me.  But I survived, of course ;)

Day 5

A much better day today!  Felt a lot better, still just tired. Work went pretty smooth, so that helps!  Went out to Tequila Harry's for some Mexican food for a fundraiser for The Healing Chair - Kansas City, and I am so glad I went!  I want to be at everything I possibly can be at for this charity, since that chair (recliner) seriously helped me TREMENDOUSLY after my double mastectomy!  Not to mention the four women who head it up are amazing, and always know how to raise my spirits.  I even ate an entire cheese quesadilla myself, and some chips!  That's like, what I ate in an entire day last weekend!  Not to mention it even tasted pretty good (thank you taste buds for coming back a bit)!!!

Days 6-10

All these days kind of ran together, but overall they were good.  My mouth had started to feel TERRIBLE on day 6 (I felt like I'd eaten a cactus!), which was frustrating.  I was having trouble eating and drinking, but it mostly cleared up a couple of days later.  We had our office Christmas party, which was a blast!!!  I was pretty worn out by 10:00 pm, so we cut out a bit early, but it was a lot of fun!  It was also good to see and spend some time with my boyfriend, who came in town for the party.  I'm feeling pretty darn good today, almost back to normal!!!  I accomplished some things today, which is always good...even went for a walk in the rain!!!  :)  I also found out that "my" healing chair (the Natalie chair) was delivered to it's 2nd recipient today! I can't wait to meet her, and I hope she feels the love from it!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Chemo - Day 3

Day 3

Woke up this morning in a total I told my family, I feel like my head is on up-side down.  I feel like a Shel Silverstein character, just kind of goofy!  lol.  I can feel swelling of my lymph nodes in my head and neck, which is good because it means they are working!  It feels almost like I have a cold, with the body aches and sore throat, but it's not too terrible.  My head just feels weird, inside and brain feels like there are only a few synapses connecting, and my hair follicles feel tingly and weird.  So bizarre!  Kinda like this guy:

Or maybe more like this guy is how I'm feeling hahahaha: 

I also find it interesting how sore my surgical and drain sites have been since Friday...yup, chemo is definitely working to attack those bad cancer cells!!!

I ate two pieces of cinnamon-sugar toast and an egg for breakfast, so that is good.  No nausea so far, thankfully.  My bright-pink and poofy steroid face has gone down a bit, and almost returned to its normal color.  Yay!

Emotionally, I feel like a wreck.  I am eager to return to work tomorrow, but I feel like I can't function at all!  I feel like a Ferris Wheel that is hanging on by one anchor, and any one bump or stressor might knock it loose, and it will roll away, unraveling itself into bits and pieces as it goes.  I am so thankful for all the love and prayers I've been blessed with, as they help tremendously!  Two scriptures from my Bible readings today boosted me up this morning:

I must make sure I take hold of every thought I have, and make sure it stands in line with God's truth; and if it does not, I must correct it so that it does.  This will help me keep a positive focus!  And when we are weak, we can allow God's strength and power to fill us up, making us stronger than we can be on our own.  Praise the Lord!!!  

Saturday, December 5, 2015

The First Real Tragedy of Chemotherapy!

I am 24 hours out from the start of my first chemo treatment, and I have discovered the first thing I dislike about it: my beloved, delicious, warm, happiness-in-a-mug black coffee tastes like...aluminum???  Steel (stainless, of course)???  Copper!?!?  It tastes like metal (my brother dearest recommended I go around licking various metal objects until I find the right metal  It tastes nothing like my delicious coffee!!!  But, of course, I'm still drinking it.  Gotta power through, right?!?

Le sigh.

But if that's the worst so far, I'm doing great! :)  I know there are more challenges ahead, but this was the first thing to strike me as "Yup, my life is gonna be different!"  I did have some major dry mouth last night, which was interesting.  I've had dry mouth off and on throughout my life (between rheumatoid arthritis and various medications, I've experienced it a few times), but this was D-R-Y MOUTH!!!  As in, when I woke up last night, I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to get my mouth open!  Imagine that, ME not being able to open MY big mouth!!! lol.  I went and used some Biotene rinse that a friend had thoughtfully bought me, which saved the rest of the night!

Also, is it bad that I'm kind of ready for my hair to start falling out, so I can quit plucking at all these stray facial hairs that drive me batty?!?!?

On a more interesting and positive note, I opened up my Bible to do my reading for the day (I've been working on reading through the Bible this year), and my reading started with 2 Corinthians 1.  Verses 3-5 jumped out at me: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."  This passage gave me so much comfort, joy, and reminded me of what I am fighting for.  I am fighting for my life, so that I can help others going through this same experience.  I must carry on so that I can show and remind others how good God is, and how much he helps us in our times of trials and tribulations.

The rest of the day went well, I did some light yoga and went for a walk, which felt AMAZING.  Now going to shower and rest up some more!  Love and blessings to you all!!!

Friday, December 4, 2015

Chemo #1 - DONE!

Whew, round one of chemo is done! I'm feeling good right now, just tired of course. Nothing was painful, except for a little burning in my left shoulder briefly with one of the drugs, but not bad at all! Didn't feel like too long of a day, but I sacked out after about an hour so I slept through most of it! Initially I was really cold, I had on a hat, scarf, gloves, jacket, and a big thick quilt; but once they brought me a heated blanket and a pillow I sacked out!!!

I brought Mo (short for cheMO) today, a little dog stuffed animal that my grandma took with her to all of her chemo treatments  (she went through chemo twice for ovarian cancer). It was nice to have some cute and soft to hold on to all day!!! So I definately recommend that :-)

My mom and dad were with me the whole day, and I'm so thankful they were there and got to experience it with me, and support me (and most importantly - keep me laughing!). 😂 Two of my lovely friends and coworkers came to visit, bringing snacks and scarves - two items I can't get enough of!!! It was fun visiting with and laughing with them! I know many of you want to come visit during treatments, I've got my schedule now so let me know! :-) I'm also thankful for all the love and support today, it kept my spirits up and kept me smiling all day! (7 hours). My nurses were amazing thankful for them!

Now off to eat Chipotle, go for a short walk, and rest rest rest. Blessings to you all!!! 😄❤